And i leave before as long as i will.|
Let me hear you call my name.
More than words.
SITI NUR UMAIRAH
Always at the limits in th midst of everything.
I love to express what I feel or share any post that i find it relevant.
So, it's quite boring.
Sorry, i just don't live to please anyone.
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Friday, March 1, 2013
I'm so insecure over everything. Even now.
I was so particular over people characteristic, i'm particular of people treating each other badly or in a good way. In a sense that i will treat people the way they treat me. I'm fussy over choosing close friends, well who doesn't? Sometimes people might just leave you over hardships. I had enough of shits.
I will face it again somedays, right? Like how i face it as early i was like 9 years of age. I know it sounded so fucked up, like as tho " i don't friend you because you take my doll kind of thing " No, it's not like how it sounds. Bullied. Insulted. How does that feels like? I was only 9 years old. All i ever wanted last time was just playful friends with no " i dont want friend you situation " I always hate that, even now.
9 years old onwards is when i'm particular with friends, that feeling of pain is temporary. I used to do anything to gain my friends back, stupid. Where i would bring my toys from my house and lied to my mum that i'll be at the nearby playground when actually the playground i went was blocks and blocks away where they'll usually be at. When finally they were there, i'd appear and remembered their all faces were so happy over th toys i brought except one of them. That particular little girl that i knew who ruined my friendship.
She wasn't happy but she acted like one. Too competitive, she gave me that face. More fucked up, we were okay in clique when suddenly that girl went around saying to everyone of my friends not to get close to me because she claims to be a fucking third eye and saw things surrounding me. And guess what? They did.
Away from me, insulting, backstabbing. Rejection, alone?
Not until one day i brave myself up asking them what i did wrong alone.
Group vs 1.
It sounds too ridiculous now, but thats what stands me up the value of friends.
Goodbye.Instagram Tumblr Twitter Facebook