And i leave before as long as i will.


Let me hear you call my name.


More than words.
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SITI NUR UMAIRAH
Always at the limits in th midst of everything.
I love to express what I feel or share any post that i find it relevant.
So, it's quite boring.
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Sorry, i just don't live to please anyone.

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Layout is by Cia: (Blog | Acc)
Icons/banners are from: Stopthetime / Reviviscent respectively.
Links inspiration are from: Alissa. xoxo
"I do but I say I don't"
Sunday, October 5, 2014

I'm selective.
Not selective socially but selective on my own. 

It sounds the same but....... whatever it is.

Here I am sitting with my laptop over my lap feeling so messed up. This may be the most personal blog post I've ever written which I would consider to delete or private it once I publish it or maybe not. Idk? I'll shall see. So I'm feeling so messed up? Why? Why? Why? Honestly. I. Don't. Know. 

Maybe it's the 3 a.m feeling where i'll feel like the most loneliest person in the world because Irfan won't stay up late even if I would want him to. You know that feel of being worthless all of the sudden. It happens often but i don't really express it out till today. I don't know what is wrong here neither I don't know what is wrong with myself. Things triggers me and kicks me back to square one that I can't even help myself but to blame every shit I did wrong even if it's not.

I remember things. I don't forget things or mostly words that made a move in my life. I really fucking don't. I can't forget. You know what made it worst? Now. When i'm alone. Everything will kick in back in me. People who says I'm this.. People who says I'm that... Why are you bla bla.. You are bla bla.. I don't want to remember. I don't want to replay all this that has been stuck in my head for so long.

I'm easily hurt by words even if I look like I don't give a single fuck. I face out to be stronger because i'm weak in this. It depends on who the person is. I can just feel so sad out of the blue and suddenly remember everything back and cause me deeper sadness which could literally made my chest so fucked up in pain. Maybe this is why.

I can't control myself neither no one else could. It is so helpless to feel this way that I sometimes feel.... to end this so much sadness. I don't know what's wrong. 





Goodbye.
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