SITI NUR UMAIRAH
Always at the limits in th midst of everything.
I love to express what I feel or share any post that i find it relevant.
So, it's quite boring.
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Sorry, i just don't live to please anyone.

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What does it feels like growing up?

Honestly, i'm feeling pretty tensed up. I don't wanna grow up (feeling peter pan) - But suck it up, ofcourse I will. I don't know what it feels like, I'm leaving my teenage years. I've growing up now thinking how my future like. I've let go of things like, quality over quantity with friends. I've thought about back up plans, i've thought about who are my true friends are and now, I've accepted to feel the joy of being alone. Despite our constant busy schedule (Irfan & I), the feeling of missing him made me realised that being physically apart made us closer in hearts because you're constantly missing someone right? That applies well to my family, even when I'm living with all of them under one roof (except Kak Baya) - I love them. 

Lastly, I put my trust on them so much. Despite of having trust issues, honestly, without a doubt, I have a full trust on him. I might feel that i gave a full trust on someone else but no, there's always a doubt. But for Irfan? Without a shadow of a doubt. Sometimes I do feel I trust others easily but sometimes I do feel that I don't because clearly their words bounce off quickly (which equivalent me not giving a fuck for long) - 

Reaction when someone breaks your trust?

Neither I want a revenge nor I have bad wishes. My reaction? It kills me that I don't react physically but instead, emotionally. I'll flee the world like nothing. No matter how that hatred feels, the only thing that I want them to do? Change. Hurt your own soul to know what it feels like before hurting others. Lastly, my mum will always mention this to me and my cousin. "No matter how emotionally/ physically bad you are, as long as you're willing to change, people will always accept you."